Better Than Revenge

I bet you thought I'd take a day off, huh?  Nope.  I've got more to say!

Actually, I've been working on this in my head for while.  But it wasn't until tonight when I read Meri's post about how she does not think about Diabetes - as a whole - all that much because it takes her to a dark place, that I knew I had to post it.

I so get that.  Diabetes can take me to a dark place, too.  When I start getting ahead of myself, worrying about what will happen when she goes to first grade... or college...  When I think about what those high blood sugars are doing to her body.  When I see tears run down her cheeks because she's scared.  I go there.  

I hate it.  Sometimes I get sad.  Sometimes I push it away.  Sometimes I get mad and angry.  Like Meri said, "psycho angry".  

And sometimes.... I want revenge.

** Warning.... this post may totally convince you that I am, in fact, totally out of my mind.  Proceed with caution.... I warned you...**

You see...  Sometimes I view Diabetes as a person or being of some kind.  Maybe it helps me have some control over it.  I don't know.

If you met me, you'd probably think I was nice and sweet.  I'm kindergarten teacher for God's sake!  We're known for being sweet!  But...  don't cross me.  I get this from my mother.  Cross me, and you'll be sorry.  I don't ever forget.  And if you mess with my kid.... Watch out.  I WILL get you.  You should sleep with one eye open.  I'm just sayin'....


So.....  


When I heard Taylor Swift's new song, "Better Than Revenge" - I. LOVED. IT.


LOVED.  IT.


And then....  I made up my own lyrics.  


Instead of singing this song to a girl who stole away my boyfriend, MY version is about Diabetes.  And how it stole away my daughter - her health, her pancreas....


It's playing right now - #1 on the playlist.


Here's what you need to do...

Go over to the playlist ( you may have to scroll down a little...) and click the button that is pointing to the left.  That's rewind.  Then read along with MY lyrics to get the full effect of this song....


Here we go....

Better Than Revenge

The story starts when it was cold 

and it was winter and

I had it all.  

I had a healthy little family.

D came along

Got her alone

And let's hear the applause

D took her faster than you can say sabotage

I never saw it coming

Wouldn't have suspected it.

I underestimated

Just what I was dealing with.

D had to know

the thirst was beating on her like a drum

D underestimated 

Just who it was stealing from.

D's not so safe and it's not what you think

It's auto immune, whoa

D's better known for the things that it does 

To the Type 2's, whoa

Soon D's gonna find

Attacking sweet little kids

On the playground

Won't make you many friends.

D should keep in mind

D should keep in mind

There is nothing I do 

Better than revenge

D makes you crazy with a 

very long prescription list

Test strips, lancets, insets

Insurance just can't cover it

I find it's ever present spikes

A little troubling

You may think I'm psycho

Cuz I know the carbs for everything

D doesn't care about what you wear

Or who you know

It can strike you at any age or time

That's so

They've yet to cure it in the lab

It's up to you and me

Cuz no amount of insulin

Will give you a reprieve

D's not so safe and it's not what you think

It's auto immune, whoa

D's better known for the things that it does 

To the Type 2's, whoa

Soon D's gonna find

Attacking sweet little kids

On the playground

Won't win you many friends.

D should keep in mind

D should keep in mind

There is nothing I do 

Better than revenge

You're just another thing

For her to deal with, honey

You might have her 

But haven't you heard?

You're just another thing

for her to have to deal with, honey

You might have her pancreas

But I'll always get the last word
Whoa

D's not so safe and it's not what you think

It's auto immune, whoa

D's better known for the things that it does 

To the Type 2's, whoa

Soon D's gonna find

Attacking sweet little kids

On the playground

Won't win you many friends.

D should keep in mind

D should keep in mind

There is nothing I do 

Better than revenge

And do you still feel like

you know what you're doing

Cuz I don't think  you do

Do you still feel like

you know what you're doing

I don't think you do

I don't think you do

Let's hear the applause

We'll show you how much stronger we are

You don't deserve the applause

We're so much stronger

D took her faster than you can say sabotage

Ok, so slightly crazy, right??

But it makes me feel better.  For me, when I get angry - I get productive!
I can deal with something better if I'm angry rahter than if I'm sad.  

This is just one of the many ways that I deal with the overwhelmingness of Diabetes as a whole.  What it means to us as a family.  What it means to Sweetpea.  The long term implications - and complications.


Like Meri, I'd be in a deep, dark pit if I focused on that.  

So I get angry.
And I sing.

I hope you'll sing, too!