It's alive and thriving on the internet.
And it can make you feel about the size of a blood drop on the end of a pinkie finger.
You know what I'm talking about. You see the pictures and updates on Facebook or blogs or Twitter. The ones that show perfect numbers, straight lines, and superb control.
Things like this....
And this...
What you DON'T see in these pictures is what I like to call the DMama Photoshop...
Did you notice how it the above pictures almost all are of the 6 hour graph - NOT the 24 hour graph?? Wonder why?? It's because if I took the picture of the 24 hour graph it would NOT be as pretty. I'm sure there's a high or a low or a spike or something hiding just beyond the cutoff point....
And that no hitter? Yeah. ONE time. In almost THREE YEARS.
And I think it's important to remember that...
That these pictures full of flowers and hearts and great numbers and flat lines don't tell the whole story.
And that no matter HOW great a pancreas you may be... we all have days where the graph is just UGLY. But you don't see pictures of that as often, do you?
Pictures like this....
Oh yeah.
Those are some nice spikes and crashes, huh? Looks like some kind of sick amusement park ride.
But it's reality. If I never saw things like this it would probably mean that Sweets didn't have diabetes. And she does... so... sometimes she's high. And low. And both in a 6 hour time period.
You just don't always SEE that online.
And what you DO see...
It's not that you're not happy for these people who someone how seem to tame the beast better than you can. It's just that it makes you feel like crap! Especially if you're in the middle of a rough patch where nothing is making sense. It can make you feel like a failure and be very disheartening.
For the record, these are our pictures. I took them. And I probably posted them to Facebook. I'm guilty.
But I have to say that when I'm the one doing the posting, it's not because I think I'm such a great pancreas. It's more because I'm excited and I want to share!
I believe in celebrating the good moments - not just in Diabetes but in life in general. So I post my pics and allow myself to feel happy and proud. Those good numbers took a lot of hard work! And a little luck. And I also like to look back at them when things are not going so well as a reminder that it WILL get better and that I CAN do this!
Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that we shouldn't post our pics! I think it's a good way to celebrate and encourage each other!
I just think it's important to keep in mind that you're never seeing the whole picture. And that you just shouldn't compare yourself to another.
I'll leave you with this quote that I just pinned to my Diabetes board on Pinterest.
We all have good days. We all have bad days. Regardless of how it might look online!
A great reminder to keep it all in perspective. :) Thanks, Hallie!
ReplyDeleteBRAVO!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. We MUST celebrate the victories...but...it doesn't mean that we've tamed the beast.
Congrats on the beautiful pics. May they always be there, in the back of your mind, when the rough ones start showing up!
Cuz they ALWAYS SHOW UP!
It's nice to see ALL of those pictures. For me, it means there is hope that we *might* get a no-hitter, for whatever time window it might be. It might take years :P
ReplyDeleteBut also to know that we aren't the only ones who have those horrible spikes. The ideal numbers are great, but living the reality can be draining just trying to get those 'nice' numbers - consistantly.
I hope I don't offend people when I post our pics. I post about the awful highs and lows and bad sites, so when I snap a pic of an awesome day its a middle finger to D. I never ever want to make another D mama feel bad.
ReplyDeleteWe all are the best pancreas' we can be! This crap ain't easy! Love y'all =)
You never offend me, Lex! I think it's great to post the great pics to celebrate! And the ugly ones to commiserate! I just think its also important to remember that no one is perfect all the time! It's easy for me to start feeling bad about myself when it looks like everyone is rocking it and I'm not!
DeleteHow fitting!!! Nora's looks like the roller coaster from hell tonight!!! I like seeing others post not just the "perfect" ones but the bad ones too!! Thanks for sharing :-)
ReplyDeleteHow fitting!!! Nora's looks like the roller coaster from hell tonight!!! I like seeing others post not just the "perfect" ones but the bad ones too!! Thanks for sharing :-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes we have to post the 'pretties' to get us through the 'uglies' because sometimes those graphs are damn ugly!
ReplyDeleteIt's easy, though, to let that little green monster jealousy creep in sometimes when other people have a nicer graph than the one you are seeing.
LOVE the quote!
I have to say how much I appreciate this post. I'm usually able to rejoice with those who rejoice, but it can be tough. Actually, there have been times I've been discouraged because of this blog, and I know that's never what you intend. Posts like this one, http://www.theprincessandthepump.com/2011/08/basking-in-your-awesomeness.html, where you list all the awesome things we parents of CWD do? Um, I'm not really there. Sunshine was diagnosed with type 1 2 years, 4 months, and 11 days ago. She's 6 now, in kindergarten. She's not on a pump. She doesn't have a CGM. And it's not about money; it's about our family. Her dx came at her 4-yr check up, which coincided nicely with the new baby's 2-month check up and fell at my other daughter's 6 1/2-yr mark. Baby #4 will make her appearance in about 6 weeks. I don't have diabetes on the brain ALL the time. Sunshine's A1c is better than avg for her age, but not where we want it. We're meticulous about counting carbs, but I don't adjust her doses often enough. S has done some (now all) of her own shots for 1 1/2 yrs and is frequently handed the meter and told to check her BG on her own. I scramble through mail order pharmacy Rxs. My husband is the one that does the nighttime checks, b/c I can't go back to sleep if I get up for them. I rely heavily on the wonderful school nurse and trust her judgment calls. I drop off S for gymnastics (90 min) and come back about halfway through, unless she was under 160 when she got there. Basically, I'm not as vigilant. (But I'm terrified of another bad low--we've had 1.) And it feels crappy when I see all that other D-moms do, but it's how we can function. So, thanks for the reminder NOT to compare myself with you or with any of the other D-moms out there. Each family fights D its own way. Praying for success for all of us!
ReplyDeleteAmen! Now I just need to remember that the next time I get frustrated! : )
ReplyDeleteI think this is true of EVERYTHING people share on facebook and on the internet in general. It's a little snapshot of someones life, nothing more. Just like each reading on the meter... it does not tell the whole story. Not even close.
ReplyDeleteWe have been through many phases with D. Times were I felt like I could do NOTHING right and never get her in range. There have also been times when it appeared that we were totally kicking D's ass. YDMV, and just when you think you have it figured out... things change again. D is so bi-polar!
I never compare Em's results to any one else. Having two D's in my house showed me long ago that it is a completely different disease from one person to the next. My dd has a unique situation, and her numbers, and my care reflect our personal journey. Everyone has their own journey and we all just have to do the best we can.
Great post!