In the Blink of an Eye

This is a diabetes blog.

But this is also a blog about a family.

It's a blog about a Mom trying to deal with everything life throws at her with strength, humor, and a little bit of grace.

So I just have to write about this today.

I could not sleep last night.

Usually it's diabetes that keeps me awake.  And usually by Friday night, I practically pass out from exhaustion.  But not last night.

Last night my heart was incredibly heavy.  And it's no different this morning.

Jason texted me yesterday morning with the THRILLING news that the new Omnipod FINALLY had FDA approval.  I can not tell you how excited I was!  Giddy!  And I will post more about this very, very soon!

But then he texted me that there had been a school shooting.  In a kindergarten class.  And there were many, many children who had been killed.

Folks, I teach kindergarten.

I read that text (because every D Mama ALWAYS has her phone on her at all times) in the middle of my classroom.  In the middle of my 28 kinders.

Shock.  Tears.

I looked around my room at all those precious little faces and was simply overwhelmed with grief and sadness.

How could this happen?  WHY?

I'm not just a kindergarten teacher.  I'm also the mom of a six year old.  All I could think of was how horrible this was for those parents who lost their precious little ones.  And how awful it was for the teachers and school staff.  I love my kinders like my own.  They are "my" kids.  I would do anything to keep them safe.

As parents of kids with a life threatening, chronic disease, we look death in the face every day.

Ok, so maybe that's a bit dramatic.  Maybe it's stretching a little.

But we know how quickly things can go from fine to NOT FINE.  We know how one decision can impact a multitude of things in very serious ways.  We know how fragile life is.

We know that we are not exempt from tragedy.

We know that we are not immune.  That sometimes bad things happen for no reason.

We know that pain and disease and death doesn't just happen to "other people".

We have all sat in a room and been told that it's happening to US.  To OUR KIDS.

And it changes you.  It changes the way you think.

I now appreciate the good days, the small moments, the beauty of this world so much more than ever before.  Even when things are crazy busy, I look deeper.  I feel deeper.  I know how quickly things can change.

And maybe that's why this tragic school shooting has really gotten to me.

Because I know I'm not exempt.  And neither is my baby.  It could have easily been MY classroom.  It could have easily been HER classroom.

This morning I am so thankful to have my little girl here with me.  Alive and well.  I watch her walk around and laugh and play in her little Hello Kitty pajamas and I am so thankful.  I think of all my kinders and I am so thankful for each of their sweet little faces.

I don't have anything wise to say.  I don't have anything that will dull this ache.

The only thing I have to offer up are prayers.  Prayers for the school community as they are dealing with this horrific loss of life.  This horrific loss of their own.  Prayers for the parents and families of each of those precious babies.

Friends, hug your littles today.  No matter how little or big they may be.

And join me in my wish of peace for the families, community, and world.



** This is the perfect time to look into your lock down procedures for your T1.  If you do not have lock down procedures in place, this is the time to do it.  If you do already have procedures in place, this is a perfect time to review them.  I know I'm going to be talking to Sweetpea's teacher and nurse and reviewing our plan.  As I'm reviewing the plan for the T1 in my class and making sure everyone is aware of what needs to happen.**