HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

To all the D Mamas out there....

I wish you a wonderful Mother's Day!  I hope your day was filled with all you love most in the world!
(Mine was!)

For all you do for your child or children...

For all the carb counting, basal testing, blood sugar checking, supply ordering, insurance fighting...

For all the doctor appointments, hospital visits, school meetings...

For all the ways you work behind the scenes to make sure your child(ren) are healthy both mentally and physically...

For all the fights you fight so your child can have the same opportunities as anyone else...

For everything you do to give your child(ren) the most normal life possible...

For all the ways you love your child(ren)...

This is for you!

You are incredible.  You are strong.  You are fierce.  You are kind.  You are loving.  You are gentle.  You are tough.  You are amazing and wonderful.  You are appreciated.

Never forget it!

The "More Than a D Mom" series comes to an end today.  Today I'm linking to a BUNCH of incredible posts (I missed a few days... sorry!  Life... you know?).  Enjoy!

Tracy from My Life with The Superhero and The Princess shares her take on being more than a D Mom.  I have had the pleasure of meeting Tracy IRL... and she is every bit at sweet and nice as you would imagine!  She shares with you a special thing that she is doing for herself... and I can tell you that is is AMAZING at it!  Tracy made aprons for Sweetpea's birthday party and they were so incredibly cute!  You have got to go read her post and see what she is all about!

Donna from Donna the Domestic Diva tells you about her life before and after diabetes.  (after?  during?)  Donna is super brave and shares her incredible story with us.  I am so proud of her.  She is one of the most supportive and loving people I know!  And I can relate with how she coped with all the emotions that diabetes brings because I have done the exact same thing.  My guess is that you will relate too!  Go see Donna now!  Bonus.... you will also find some great recipes!

Nicole from The We CARA lot Blog shares her thoughts of being more than a D Mom!  Nicole is a CRAZY D Mama who lives in Canada with her hubby and her SIX KIDS!  Nic can always make me laugh!  We "met" shortly after sweet Cara's dx... which was at the same time as Sweetpea's.  It was nice to find the Mom of another newly 3 year old girl.  Go check her out!

Misty from Life is Like a Box of Chocolates gives her take on life as a D Mom.... and she shares some pretty awesome pics!  I love her take on being "More Than a D Mom"!  I think the quote she shares is spot on!  I have the awesome pleasure of knowing Misty IRL... and living right down the street (sorta - like 5 minutes).  She is awesome, fun, sweet, and thoughtful!  She is one of the first moms I met after Sweets was dx'd.  My neighbor knew her... and knew her daughter had been dx'd about a month earlier.  Our girls go to the same school and we get to hang out and even go on little road trips!  She's paved the way for me at school and I so, so, so appreciate all the hard work and planning she has put into it! (Seriously - check out her 504 plan!)  She was the one I called in tears the night Jason had a heart attack and she came over in the middle of the night to stay with Sweets.  Her girls are every bit as awesome as she is.... and I love the relationship Ally and Sweets have.  It is precious.  So go on... go read Misty's post and get to know her!  You'll love her as much as I do!

Marjorie of Labrador Sweet shared her take about why SHE is more than a D Mom!  Marjorie is another Canadian D Mama whose eldest daughter was dx'd in February 2012.  Marjorie is newish to the blogging world so you've gotta head over to her blog and say HI!

And don't forget those who posted earlier in the week...
Lora of My Diabetic Child
Wendy of Candy Hearts 
Meri of Our Diabetic Life
and ME

Thanks to everyone who participated!  I love you and know that we are so much more diabetes... just like our kids!  If you wrote your own "More Than a D Mom" post... Or you would LIKE to... GO FOR IT!  Put your link in the comments!

I hope you've all had a wonderful Mother's Day!  Get ready for D Blog week which starts tomorrow!  I'm gonna TRY......!

More Than a D Mom - Wendy Style

Today's take on "More Than a D Mom" comes from Wendy of Candy Hearts!  Wendy is not only a mother of three - she's also an RN!  She's one of the first Mama's I found on this journey and I'm so glad to count her as a friend.  I'm even MORE glad that I'll be meeting her IN PERSON (FINALLY) this summer!  Wendy really puts herself out there in this post so you've got to go check it out!

 

And don't forget to read these posts by some other awesome Mamas...
Lora of My Diabetic Child
Meri of Our Diabetic Life
Hallie (ME) of The Princess and The Pump

More than a D Mom... Lora Style

For today's installment in the "More than a D Mom" series, we get to visit with Lora of My Diabetic Child!  Lora is a dear friend that I actually get to see IN PERSON on a some what regular basis. She is hilarious and crafty and fun to be around!  She's also a great Mom and a Kick Ass Pancreas!! You really should get to know her... Because if I didn't have her on speed dial, there are days I might seriously lose it!


Don't forget to check out Meri's take....

And mine....!

More Than a D Mom: Meri Style

In yesterday's post, I talked about how sometimes I wonder if I am more than just a D Mom.

As I was thinking about statement, I knew I had to ask some other D Mamas (and great friends) what THEY thought about the whole issue.  Am I the only one who feels, at times, that diabetes has taken over my life?

So for the next week or so, I'll be featuring some incredible D Mama bloggers and their thoughts about being "More Than a D Mom".

Up today is Meri.  Meri is a great friend who I am honored to have gotten to know over the past four years.  She always makes me smile!  Meri has four boys - three who have type 1 diabetes!  So her take on this really intrigues me!

So head on over to Meri's blog, Our Diabetic Life, and see what she has to say!

More Than a D Mom

I had this idea... this thought...  the other day.

I don't remember what exactly we were doing.  But it something diabetes related.

And I wondered...  Am I just a pancreas?  Am I just a carb counter, insulin deliverer, blood sugar tester?  Am I just the Mom... the food maker, the chauffeur, the homework helper, the hair brusher, the boo boo kisser?  Is there more to me than this?

There used to be more to me than this.

I think.

Not that THIS isn't wonderful.

It is.  And I'm grateful to have this role.  I love my daughter more than life itself.  I'm proud to her Mom.  I am eternally thankful that she is healthy and alive and I have the opportunity and supplies to keep her that way!

I think all parents of children living with diabetes are very aware of how lucky we are.  We do not take our children or our children's health for granted.

However, we know how much it takes.  And how all consuming it can become.

And there are times when we wonder...  Who am I?  Who is this person looking back at me from the mirror?

In my last post, I talked about the Taylor Swift song "All Too Well" and the lyrics...
"Time won't fly.  It's like I'm paralyzed by it.  I'd like to be my old self again but I'm still trying to find it."

And I can't help but think about how much that relates to life with diabetes.

My old self....

Who???

I can hardly remember.

I used to exercise every day.  I was really fit and I really liked it.  I used to hang out with friends from work.  I'd go to Happy Hour and eat lunch in the lunch room and be social.  I used to go to dinner with friends.  I used to read a lot.  I used to do my hair.  And wear lipstick. Like every day.  I used to eat healthy meals and take care of myself.  I used to sleep at night.

Now?

Not so much.

I haven't exercised in an embarrassing long time.  I can't remember the last time I went to dinner with friends.  I never go out after work.  I eat in my room, alone - by choice because it's the only time I have a few minutes to myself.  Now I read about diabetes and insulin and pumps and cgms.  I COMB my hair every day.  And I might be able to find a lipstick in my purse.... but wear it?  It might be too old.  Does lipstick go bad?  The drive thru lady at McDonald's knows me by name.  And what's this sleep you speak of?

What happened to me?

Diabetes happened to me.

Now I spend so much time and thought and energy on carbs and ratios and basal rates and activity and 504 plans and supplies and targets and A1c and site changes and on and on and on....  Not to mention the emotional aspect of raising a child with a chronic disease.

The rest of that stuff just becomes invisible.  I simply do not have time for anything other than diabetes. My brain is full.

And that's how it's been... for a long, long time.

But now, after four years, I'm starting to see glimpses of what life used to be.  And how... just maybe... it could be again.

I don't know where to even start.

I am at least to a place where I can realize that pushing my own needs and my own health to the back is not healthy for anyone.  I can see that my daughter deserves a Mom who is not stressed out and exhausted all the time.

But getting there....

It's just not easy.

Because who I WAS....  I'm not sure she exists anymore.  Sometimes I think that if I don't at least TRY to find her now she is going to slip away and no one will even notice.

Don't get me wrong... It's not that being a D Mom is such an awful thing.  It's just that can't be the ONLY thing.

And so the challenge is finding some balance between who I WAS and who I am NOW.

I won't ever be the same person I was before.  And the truth is, I don't want to be.

I'm stronger now.  I'm able to see and enjoy the small things in a way I was never able to do before.  I have a new respect for life and health.  I know I won't fall apart when times get tough.  I don't get caught up in the petty drama that often comes with life.  And I have some amazing friends I've made on this journey that make it so sweet.    I don't want to give that up.

I just also need to be a Mom who takes care of her health.  A Mom who does her hair and wears lipstick on occasion and enjoys exercise and friends and books!

It doesn't sound like it should be as hard as it is.  Right?

So why does it feel like the impossible task?

I think because there are days (and nights) where diabetes IS the only thing.  There are times when it HAS to be the only thing.  Our kids are sick.  Their numbers are out of whack.  They are low.  Or high.  They need a site change.  Carbs have to be counted.  Exercise and hormones and growth and excitement are messing things up.  They have ketones.  They need us.  And we are there.

We wouldn't have it any other way.

But those days and nights just bleed into one another until there is no beginning and no end and we are so exhausted both mentally and physically that there is nothing else.  There is nothing left.

You can't escape those days.  And when you're in the middle of it, it feels like there will never be an escape.  So why bother?

I don't have an easy answer.

I just know it's time to try.

The longer we live this life, the more I'm able to see that those days WILL end.  There WILL be times when our lives revolve around diabetes.  But there will also be times it won't.

And I can't let those days pass me by.  I've got to use those days for all they are worth and pray that it somehow balances out.

Today we worked on writing letters for Sweets to send to our Senators and Representatives asking them to meet with her when we are in Washington for Children's Congress.  Then we went to a photo shoot for our JDRF Gala.  Then we came home and it was time for bed but we had to do a pod change first.

Today was a diabetes day.

Today I was a D Mom.

And that's ok.  Being a D Mom is a gift, in it's own way.

And there's always tomorrow to add a little of the "old me" in to the mix.

** Today was the start of more than a week long series of posts called "More than a D Mom".  When I had this idea, I knew my other Mama's felt the same way.  I wanted to hear what they had to say... and I'm sure you do, too!  So be sure to check out Meri's blog tomorrow for her take! **